Ireka / Metro Toastmasters Club Joint Meeting on 25th March 2010

Area P3 International Speech and Table Topic Contest

Congratulations to CC Helen Quat and TM Subramaniam who have won the 2nd runner-up placing in the Area P3 International Speech and Table Topic contest respectively on Sat 20 March 2010.

Say It with Meaning

Article from the Toastmaster magazine
http://www.toastmasters.org

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you for inviting me to share my topic with you.
I look forward to our time together.”

If you read this sentence aloud, you can hear that it sounds like it is spoken in monotone. In fact, the words tend to flow into one another without particular meaning. But with a few tweaks, any speaker can offer a thoughtful, attention-grabbing presentation that the audience will remember long afterward.

Verbal nuances, pauses and accented syllables can make your utterances more sonorous and meaningful. Like an actor rehearsing lines, a speaker should rehearse words before speaking to a group. With practice, everyday language can be enhanced to invigorate listeners and ease their grasp and appreciation of the message you want to share.

The way we say it is as important, or more so, as what we say.

The most inspiring words in a message can lose their effect if the speaker fails to ignite the audience’s passion. A speaker should handle words with the same care that a carpenter handles tools. Both professions construct meaning through capable application of tools to relevant material. Speakers should consider adding to their presenter’s “tool kit” a variety of strategies for making the most of the words they will use to share a meaningful message.

Although many verbal tools can be employed in the public speaking profession, those outlined below show you how to vocalize a presentation to optimum advantage.


Accented Words
Here is another way to recite the opening statement in the beginning of this article. Consider the words in all bold letters to be stated more emphatically:

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for inviting me to share my topic with you. I look forward to our time together.”

Obviously, the emphasized words should not be yelled at the audience, but rather slightly accented to vary the monotone and offer interesting nuances that will catch your readers’ attention.

The next time you prepare a speech, look it over and highlight any special words that should be accented more strongly than the rest. Accents can focus the listeners’ attention on key ideas or elements of your presentation.


Pitch
We often think of music when hearing the word “pitch,” but it actually has to do with the sound of a voice that conveys emotion, as indicated in this early 20th Century explanation from OldandSold.com: “Remember that voice control is dependent largely upon emotional control. When you are excited or frightened, unconsciously the muscles around your voice box or larynx are tightened.”

While it is unnecessary (and unwise) to make a speech at a consistently high pitch, it can be helpful to moderate vocal pitch by pronouncing some words or phrases within an emotional context. Consider the following examples:

• "Be silent!" the tribal chief grunted to the missionary, trying to interject logic to the ritual.

Given the context of this statement, it appears the word “silent” could be spoken angrily or as an exclamation of authority.

• The police officer’s expression showed that he believed me guilty of speeding.

In this example, the word “speeding” receives emphasis if that is what the speaker wants listeners to notice or question. Choosing to pronounce a strategic word in a clear, emphatic way will help the audience to grasp its intended meaning and the speaker’s associated emotional response.


Intonation
Intonation is an extension of pitch. A person’s voice can change pitch and thereby reveal inflection through contrasts in vocal tone. A voice moves up and down the scale of sounds to express various thoughts and emotions. Upward movement tends to reflect a question or incomplete thought, while downward inflection represents a whole or complete idea.

Thus, intonation provides the opportunity for shifting voice pitch to contrast emotions or thought patterns. Here are a couple of examples:

“Should we then surrender our voting rights as a gesture of support for the minority? No, we should not.”

The first sentence can be read in rising intonation (a question), while the responsive statement can spiral downward to provide an answer and close the issue on that point.

Of course, words like surrender, voting rights, minority, no and not can be accented as focal ideas.

“She led me to believe I would be promoted within a week. But my expectation proved wrong.”

(Or: “She led me to believe I would be promoted within a week. But my expectation proved wrong.”)

Intonation would rise on the first sentence, and then fall with the second. If you practice this in front of a mirror or by recording it a few times, you will see how much more engaging your speech can be with emotional ups and downs as well as accented words.


Silence
Now that we have discussed what can be said loudly or differently, let’s look at what not to say and possible effects of keeping quiet at certain points of your speech.

Some speakers view silence as uncomfortable gaps in their presentations. But brief silences can help to drive home an issue, allow audiences to ponder a point, or prepare listeners for what’s coming. Professional speakers should add deliberate silence, or pauses, to their repertoire of speaking strategies to enhance a message.


“Verbal nuances, pauses and accented syllables can make
your utterances more sonorous and meaningful.”


A Web article titled “Body Language: The Language Everybody Speaks” at lichaamstaal.com suggests that silence plays a strategic role in interpersonal communication: “When we are silent we are also communicating! What we communicate depends on what kind of silence it is. …Again, the time in between words provide feeling and thinking space for people. Generally, the more emotionally loaded the subject is, the more silences we need.”

Let’s say that you are delivering three main points during your talk to a local civic group. In addition to numbering or sequencing the points, pause briefly as you conclude one before beginning the next. This demonstrates to your audience that you are about to transition to the next part of your speech.

In addition, when you make a suspenseful or important statement, pause a moment or two to let the audience grasp its full significance. Moving on too quickly can diminish the forceful effect of a strong statement.


Pronunciation
Be sure to correctly pronounce the words you will be using in your speech. Mispronunciation can leave the audience with a negative impression of your professionalism and be confusing when audience members fail to grasp the actual word you are trying to say. Here are a few examples:

• Counselor (wrongly pronounced “consaler”)
• Misled (wrongly pronounced “mizled” with a long ‘i’)
• Wolves (wrongly pronounced “wolfs”)

Look up the correct pronunciation and enunciation of any words with which you are unfamiliar and note them in your speech so you will remember how to say the words correctly.


Repetition
You probably learned in English class not to repeat the same word in a sentence or paragraph, but rather to try and find a fresh word or phrase so you don’t sound repetitive. That is a good principle – to a point. Sometimes repetition can help to underscore a point when used strategically and appropriately.

Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream” speech is a rousing example of the dynamic use of his key phrase, which is used nine times, as well as his repetitive use of “Let freedom ring,” also nine times, in the closing lines of his speech. Dr. King did not repeat these phrases because he could think of no others, but because they are important to the message and he wanted to give the audience a valuable concept, beautiful in simplicity, remarkable in meaning.

When repeating key words or phrases, do so with a plan in mind. Don’t let repetitions randomly occur.


Say It and Mean It
With these exciting verbal tools you can craft an even more impressive speech the next time you face an audience. While it is important to choose the best words for your topic and arrange them in a meaningful sequence, remember that how you say them can go a long way to underscore or derail their impact. If you feel awkward trying to incorporate all these changes at once in your presentation style, begin by changing just one thing. When you feel comfortable with that strategy and begin noticing positive results, add another one. Soon your speeches will be receiving enthusiastic responses as you engage your audience in a purposeful way.

Don’t let language do all the work of conveying a message to your listeners. Start practicing your new presentation skills to prepare your most dynamic speech yet!


Debra Johanyak is a professor of English at the University of Akron Wayne College in Orrville, Ohio.

Humour Can Help You Through

Article from Toastmaster magazine
http://www.toastmasters.org/ToastmastersMagazine/ToastmasterArchive/2009/January/Humor-Can-Help.aspx

There will come a time in your career when a personal challenge will daunt you and you will have to muster all your professionalism to perform – even on days when you are emotionally exhausted and just want to cry. In my case, since I’m a motivational speaker and comedian, that means having to not only perform, but make people laugh, motivate them and move them.

Stress happens all the time, whether it’s due to medical issues, financial pressures, an ongoing family situation such as a nasty divorce, or circumstantial events such as your flight being delayed on the way to the biggest gig of your life. The key is, you need to be armed with information on how to handle it.

Last year I was faced with just such an agonizingly stressful situation when the two most important people in my life – my son, Spencer, and my mom, Rose – went into separate New York hospitals with life-threatening illnesses. Spencer went in at 5 a.m. grappling with pericarditis (an inflammation of the membrane surrounding the heart that can lead to the heart enlarging), and my mom was hospitalized at 8 o’clock that same evening with an incarcerated hernia that could have caused her death in a matter of hours if doctors didn’t remove two feet of her gangrenous intestines.

My son’s hospital was in upstate New York; my mom’s was in Queens, New York – about a two-hour drive away. I kept driving back and forth between the two hospitals. In addition, I didn’t tell my mom or son that the other was in the hospital. Keeping that secret added to the stress.

Two days after Spencer was hospitalized, he was home, facing 10 days of required bed rest. I joked to him, “Spence, I always knew you had a big heart, but please don’t go overboard to prove it.” He smiled.

The following day, my mom came out of intensive care. While visiting her hospital room I joked with her, as well. “Jeez, Mom, I know you’ve been telling me that you wanted to lose weight and stop working...but this was one heck of a way to do it!” She smiled.

Humor has always been a great survival mechanism for people. On both the personal and professional levels, it helps reduce stressful situations.

On the same night my mom came out of intensive care, I was booked for a one-hour speaking engagement – ironically, for a “Social Workers Appreciation Day” at an assisted living home. I was physically drained from three days of non-stop driving to these two hospitals. In addition, I was emotionally drained from all the worry. (Yes, even positive-thinking comedians worry.)

I asked myself one key question: Can I get in the right frame of mind to perform, do a great job and not be on auto pilot? I decided I had two hours until I performed and I could do it.

Drawing from my experience, I offer seven strategies for performing during personally difficult times:


1. Stop and Breathe. That’s basic enough, but many forget to do it properly. (Of course, if you forget to do it altogether this would be a moot point.) I’m talking about taking a few deep, meditation-like breaths to relax yourself. Take a breath, close your eyes and hold it for a count of eight. Then slowly exhale for a count of four. Do this until you feel yourself in a better place physically.

The powers of deep breathing have been known for centuries. You just have to remember to do it. It can stop you from panicking and give your body and mind the time needed to refocus.


2. Look at your situation realistically by asking the right questions. Everything in life depends on your attitude. And that starts with asking yourself the right questions. When you’re scared and stressed out, give yourself a reality check. The answers can be empowering.

In my case, I asked myself, “Are my loved ones out of immediate danger?” Yes. “Do I need to be there with them all night?” No. “Would it benefit me mentally to be on stage, doing something I love, to get me in a different frame of mind?” Yes. “Do I have the energy?” Yes. (We all have sources of stored energy.)

I asked more questions: “How can I make this a win-win situation?” By finding the humor in it. “Can I find humor in something so soon?” Yes, if I refocus my thoughts – not on the victim, but on the situation. “Would it be the professional thing to do?” Yes. “Is there a profound message I can share with my audience about this situation?” I knew there was, but I just wasn’t sure what it was yet. I had at least two hours to figure it out.


"The truth is funny if you just look at it in the wrong light."


Now, I could have asked myself the “wrong” questions: “Shouldn’t I be with my loved ones now?” Yes. “Will the place forgive me if I don’t perform under the circumstances?” Yes. “Will I be too tired to drive home?” Probably.

The key is all in what you ask yourself.


3. Learn to compartmentalize your feelings. There is a time to break down, and a time not to hang tough. At the moment of crisis you need to be strong. I learned to be my own cheerleader. “OK, Capo, you can get this done now…you can cry later.” Always allow yourself the release …just do it when it benefits you. Being strong doesn’t mean you’ll never cry, it means knowing when to cry.


4. Refocus through gratitude and prayer. One of the easiest ways to refocus your mind is by going over a list of things you are grateful for, especially at a time of crisis. My list went like this: I am grateful that my son and mom are both alive. I am grateful that I have a speaking engagement and a chance to change people’s lives. I am grateful that I’ve been given the gift of humor – now let me use it!

Also, it helps to turn to a higher source. I remember sending out e-mail messages during those few days, asking everyone to pray for my loved ones. I personally prayed to God, Mother Mary and Jesus, then I spoke to a few loved ones who had already passed on. I also wrote to a priest, a rabbi and a Buddhist monk. I wanted no stone unturned! (Besides, I wasn’t sure who had the quickest connection.)


5. Find the humor and trust yourself. Now refocused, I stayed in the parking lot for 45 minutes before my speech and wrote jokes. I was a tad nervous. OK, who am I kidding? I was extremely nervous about whether the jokes would go over. I had to detach myself and think of the funny aspects common to all who have been in this situation. The truth is funny if you just look at it in the right light.

To verify the funny factor of my material, I called a comedian friend of mine, Janette Barber. She said, “Fran, trust me and trust yourself. It’s funny. Do as you always do. Make fun of the situation at hand, not the victim. Trust your heart – you’ll be fine.” She was right. Humor is a gift, and the best time to give a gift – whether to yourself or an audience – is when you truly need it. As long as it’s in good taste, people will laugh. People want to see the human element in a speaker, not just the polished speech.


6. Visualize using your previous successes. It was now 10 minutes until show time. I took some deep breaths, reminding myself that I had done this a million times before, and I visualized being fantastic onstage.


7. Once you are empowered, go onstage. I was as confident as I could be in the situation. As long as no one asked me about my mom and son, I knew I wouldn’t cry. I had one last decision to make: Should I be honest with the audience upfront?

I decided to begin with the truth. So I said, “You know, I sat in the parking lot for a few minutes – OK, 45 minutes – before I came in, writing some jokes for you people. You think I’m kidding…Nothing like a lot of preparation for a gig. But really, the reason I did that was that because my mom, as we speak, is in the hospital; she was just released from intensive care. I’d show you pictures but I know she’d get mad, because she doesn’t have any makeup on.

“But, really, she is in the hospital. Apparently, she had an incarcerated hernia, and, like all mothers, she was stubborn about going to the hospital:

‘Frannie, I’m too sick to go the hospital!’

‘Mom, do you hear yourself? That doesn’t make sense.’

‘Listen to me, the worst thing in the world is to go to bed sick and wake up dead.’

‘Wake up dead! Mom, people don’t wake up dead.’

‘Don’t correct me – I’m sick.’

“Anyway, she wound up going into emergency surgery. As she was lying there on the gurney, she held my hand and whispered, ‘Frannie, remember I love you all, and just in case anything happens, please get an autopsy, and don’t forget to turn off the hallways lights.’

‘Mom, I don’t think we should be worried about the electric bill at the moment.’

‘I don’t want to have to worry about it if I’m in heaven.’

‘I think God will give you a pass on that one.’

“The surgery took eight hours, but I knew she was better today because of two things: One, she told me her doctor was cute – he looked like Doctor Kildare, the TV hero from the ‘60s – and two, she complained that the nurses woke her up to give her a sleeping pill.”

I continued joking. The audience knew I was telling the truth and they were literally laughing ’til they cried. This material turned out to be perfect for my audience at the assisted living home.


Life Is Precious
I teased the one male doctor in the room. I teased the social workers and I teased the director of the facility. I asked them, “Come on, tell me the truth, aren’t there some patients you’d just like to smack?” They all smiled, but no one gave names. I talked about my son, and how I was playing race car driver going back and forth from hospital to hospital…Then I talked about how precious life was, how important their jobs were to the patients lying in those beds, and how important it is to put our hearts and souls into the careers we choose.

I ended my talk the way I always do – telling people to live with passion and laughter, and to go after their dreams.

Then I left them with one of my favorite sayings: “Remember to live every day as if it’s your last…and one day you’ll be right.” I paused and added, “And I’m lucky that today wasn’t that day for my mom or my son.” I got a standing ovation and lots of hugs.

People came up to me and said, “You did a brave thing telling jokes about your mom and son. You were emotionally drained but you gave us your full self (or “Full Fran” as Janette calls it) in your performance.”

I smiled. “I just did what I believe God put me on this Earth to do – motivate people and make them laugh. It’s easy to laugh when things are good; it’s hard to dig down inside yourself and find laughter when all you want to do is cry. But if you can find the power to laugh, you can find the power to heal…because in the end…laughter truly is the best medicine.”

May all your sorrows be framed in laughter and may you always find a way to give it to your audience.

Postscript:
My mom, Rose Capo, died February 6, 2008 – and, yes, I told funny stories of my mom’s life at the funeral. This article is in honor of her memory. Now, less than a year later, my sister has breast cancer. I continue to share the laughter with her.


Fran Capo is a New York-based comedian, professional speaker, actress, author, adventurer and four-time world record holder. Read more about her at www.justlaugh.org.

Step away from Self-Sabotage

Article from the Toastmaster magazine
http://www.toastmasters.org/ToastmastersMagazine/ToastmasterArchive/2009/January/Self-Sabotage.aspx

Do you ever want to start a project, then don’t? Have you ever said yes to a speaking engagement only to cancel later? Have you ever promised yourself that you wouldn’t engage in a bad habit and then found yourself doing it even more?

People who become involved in speechmaking often find themselves sabotaging their presentations. Whether it’s forgetting the name of the couple you are toasting, arriving late for a talk or accidentally leaving your PowerPoint file at home – you might be surprised to find that you are at the core of your own undoing.

It’s not only neophytes who encounter this problem; experienced speakers find themselves blocking potential victories as well.

“Essentially, self-sabotage is consciously or unconsciously blocking yourself from succeeding or accomplishing some task or project,” says Kevin Hogan, a psychologist and international speaker.

It’s a process that happens to everyone, he notes, but some have a more ingrained habit than others. Hogan has an audio program called “Lifestorms: Blasting through Self-Sabotage for Breakthrough Results” that addresses the issue in detail.

Much of our “mental programming” has to do with expectations that start early in life. What was expected of you as a child? As a teenager? As an adult? For example, Toastmaster Steph Scott, a young woman in her 30s, received a number of powerful messages from her parents. Her mother exerted pressure on her to be perfect, saying things like, “You brought up your C grades to B grades, which means you can then bring up your Bs to As.” Her mother also pushed her to become more popular.

Scott’s father, meanwhile, taught her to stifle emotions by shutting her down with statements like, “Was it that good?” or “It couldn’t be that bad.”

Imagine how hard it was for Scott to give her first Table Topics presentation when voices in the back of her head said “Get it right” but “Don’t be passionate about it.”

Hogan, the psychologist, says kids who have been driven too hard to excel are particularly vulnerable to undermining themselves as adults.

“Children who had demands of being perfect,” he says, “develop a perfectionism mindset where they never do anything in life, because they can’t be perfect at its accomplishment.”


Confidence Issues
Susan Guild, an experienced Toastmaster, grew up in an intellectual family. Her father and brother are lawyers. Advanced degrees were expected. She says her family and friends deeply affected her confidence.

“People frequently ask me about my education with questions like, ‘Are you working on your master’s or doctorate degree?’ My parents always valued intelligence backed up by scientific proof,” says Guild, a member of the Lexington Toastmasters in Lexington, Massachusetts.

As a result of these messages, it’s been difficult for her to trust her own intuition. “I see those old patterns as lint that is deeply matted through us,” she says.

Guild says one of the most common ways speakers sabotage their talks is when negative self-esteem gets the better of them. They believe others see them in the same light as they see themselves – and if that light is dim, it will be difficult to shine in front of a group.

At times she has tried too hard to win her listeners’ approval, Guild says. “The last speech I made, I decided to use lots of facts, because my Toastmasters group likes facts and numbers. But I lost my own individuality by attempting to do what I thought they liked. I realized that I was sabotaging myself by trying to please the club. It was like seeking others’ approval rather than giving respect to myself.”

Susan Coates, a Distinguished Toastmaster, says when she tries to copy someone else’s style, it gets in the way of her presentation. “Everyone has a different style and when they try to be someone else, it makes for a less effective presentation.”


Ways We Impede Our Success
Some people block their own success by putting off their preparation until the last minute. “I’ve been procrastinating to deliver my second speech,” says Manjunath Mavinakere, a member of Break Time Toastmasters in Houston, Texas. “It’s been a few months since I’ve given my Ice Breaker, and I have a lack of knowledge on the subject I want to speak about. Many times I feel I know the topic, but when I try to expand on it, it just goes way off board.”

Mavinakere feels that his procrastination stops him from succeeding at work as well. “The opportunities I miss to show my communication skills in front of people who are from different departments of the company stop me from moving ahead in my work.”

These are a few other ways that people undermine their own effectiveness:

• Not being willing to take risks
• Speaking too softly to be heard
• Doing just enough to get by
• Making excuses for poor performance by blaming things like illness or not having enough time to prepare adequately
• Allowing fears (like speech anxiety) to call the shots

The concept of self-fulfilling prophecy implies that if we expect something to happen in the future, then it will happen. For example, if you think you’re a lousy speaker or will do a poor job, you will find ways to bring those expectations to fruition. You’ll sabotage that speech. Perhaps you’ll keep dropping your materials and look foolish and disorganized, or you will find that your equipment isn’t working and that you could have prevented this situation if you had checked on the equipment earlier.

The opposite is true as well. If you expect to put on a dynamic presentation, you’ll achieve that outcome through positive actions, such as remembering to wear your power suit or doing vocal exercises the day of the talk.

This mirrors the “law of attraction” philosophy: that what we think about the most often, with the greatest intensity, will then take place. So if you focus on an appreciative audience or a standing ovation, you will have a more effective presentation than if you concentrate on sweaty palms or a sleepy audience. Speakers who focus on successful productions project more energy, confidence and enthusiasm.


Step Away From Sabotage
Many of us have approached speaking engagements as drudgery, as a serious and sobering business, a dreaded task. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Guild suggests you start picturing your presentations in a new light by asking yourself what could be fun or fulfilling about this project. She calls the process “going from the musts to the magic.”

She recommends changing focus from the risk of the task to its possible rewards, whether that involves gaining new clients, spreading the word about “going green” or receiving a burst of applause at the end of the speech.

“Still, the most important thing,” Guild says, “is to capture the essence of your message. Look in your heart to see why you want to give this speech. There you’ll find your magic.”


Judi Bailey is a writer in Lakewood, Ohio, and a frequent contributor to the Toastmaster. Reach her at author48@cox.net.




Block Out Damaging Behavior

Here are some helpful steps to avoid sabotaging yourself as a speaker:

• Develop awareness of how you sabotage yourself, especially in regards to giving talks. “Because self-sabotage is unconscious,” Dr. Hogan says, “no one is aware of it when they are actually engaging it. The benefit of being able to be in check is being in charge. When the unconscious mind is quelled, then the conscious mind can move forward and achieve.”
• Dig in Deeper. Og Mandino espoused this philosophy in his book The Greatest Salesman in the World. Allow your passion about the topic of your talk to drown out any attempts at self-sabotage.
• Accept your own style. Don’t try to be a Martin Luther King Jr. sound-alike or pattern your mannerisms after your favorite TV journalist. Be the best you that’s possible.
• Use affirmations. “Affirmations,” says Susan Guild, “have to be coupled with an inner belief.” In other words, you really have to believe what you’re saying. So if you don’t believe it when you say, “I’m a terrific speaker,” then find some other aspect of yourself that you can more realistically compliment, such as the sound of your voice or the ability to do excellent research. Then create a believable statement like “I do a terrific job researching material for my speeches.”
• Commit the benefits of public speaking to memory. This is a good principle to practice on the day of your speech. You can even write them down and keep the list in your pocket or purse as a reminder. They can include a greater sense of confidence, more career contacts and a chance to meet interesting people.
• Monitor your progress. Most behavioral experts agree that keeping track of your actions not only keeps you accountable to yourself, but gives you a running record of your progress. Pick up a notebook and begin to jot down the incidents of self-sabotage and the times you haven’t given in to the urge to jeopardize yourself.
• Create a personal reminder. Guild found a clever way to keep awareness alive: She bought a charm bracelet and two charms. One charm had “best” written on it; “friend” was inscribed on the other. “I also wear it to honor myself while I’m doing presentations. The bracelet is especially valuable whenever anyone in the audience has pushed my buttons.”
• Stick close to Toastmasters. Undoubtedly you have found that there’s no better place to obtain support than from other members. Don’t sell this short. Your club can help you to enjoy the process of becoming a better speaker.
  

Judi Bailey is a writer in Lakewood, Ohio, and a frequent contributor to this magazine. Reach her at author48@cox.net.

Manner of Speaking: That's Not My Voice – Is It?

Article from the Toastmaster magazine
http://www.toastmasters.org/ToastmastersMagazine/ToastmasterArchive/2009/February/Departments/Manner-of-Speaking.aspx

Manner of Speaking: That's Not My Voice – Is It?

The voice you hear is different from the one the audience hears.

By Nancy Sebastian Meyer, ATMB, CL


As a speaker, you need the best voice quality possible. But to get your voice sounding the best it can, first you have to know what it actually sounds like, right? And that can be difficult – because the voice you hear is different from the one the audience hears.

Just think about the first time you heard your voice captured on a tape recorder, computer or other electronic device. You shook your head in amazement and said to your friends, “You’re joking. That’s not my voice – is it?”

“Sure,” they replied. But you still could hardly believe the two sounds were one and the same.

Pretend to be one of my voice students for a moment and I will explain this simple, yet profound concept of listening to your voice. As a speaker (or singer), you hear something different from your listeners because of three basic factors that work together: Your inner ear hears your inner voice; your outer ear receives a distorted outer voice; and your sound waves vibrate the whole ear mechanism. The end result is that you hear a different voice than other people do.

Let’s break down this process, so that you’ll better understand how to make vocal adjustments as a speaker.


Factor One: Your inner ear hears your inner voice.
“It’s a surprise! Don’t listen,” Chris instructed Kelly as he began whispering birthday plans to her friend. Kelly put her fingers in her ears and made nonsensical sounds to keep from overhearing their conversation. In the process, she noticed that with her fingers in her ears, her voice sounded so much louder than usual. Why?

Your voice originates in about the middle of your neck. Initial sound waves are created as air passes through your vocal folds (cords) drawn tight across the trachea (windpipe). You can feel the flutter with your fingertips if they lightly rest on the “adam’s apple” area of your throat while you speak or sing.

This tiny vibration is then magnified in the voice box (upper throat). The waves continue to grow in magnitude as they resonate in the cavities of your head before coming out your nose and/or throat.

Thus, your internal voice is created and grows from inside your neck up through the nasal cavities where it reverberates. And because your inner ear – which contains the actual organ of hearing – is located so closely to your inner voice, only you can hear your internal voice. This is a unique sound your listeners will never experience. Now, let’s add the next factor.


Factor Two: Your outer ear catches the distorted outer voice.
The other day my husband and I took a short hike. Several times I had difficulty catching everything he said when he was ahead of me on a narrow, single-file section of the trail. Likewise, he would ask me to repeat things when I was in the lead. The leader’s voice projected forward, in the opposite direction of the follower. Listening was much easier when we stopped, turned toward each other and spoke face to face.

Our listeners’ ears catch and pull in the sound waves, channeling them into the inner ear canal. But you cannot directly hear your own voice. Your ears are behind your mouth, like I was behind my husband on the hike. You hear the result of your vocal sound waves traveling forward, hitting surfaces and bouncing back to you. On this return trip, these somewhat distorted waves are caught by your outer ear and moved along inside to your ear drum.

So your inner ear not only hears the initial interior voice but also the distorted, round-about exterior voice coming in through the outer ear passage. Michael Kelly, author of Understanding the Power of Your Voice, says: “You hear your voice in stereo (air and bone conduction) while other people just hear it in mono (air conduction).”


Factor Three: Your sound waves vibrate the whole ear mechanism.
The sum of the first two factors – inner voice and indirect outer voice – would be enough to explain why speaker and listener hear two different things. But this third factor, vibration, plays an even more significant role:

When I’m a guest teacher in a junior or senior high school music class, I love to ask the students to experiment with vibration: “Try shaking your head from side to side as rapidly as possible while you say ‘peanut butter and jelly.’” The students have fun – the resulting words feel silly and sound ridiculous! And this crazy illustration demonstrates what is going on inside your head. Sound waves being created in the neck and head of the speaker or singer are vibrations that literally shake up everything inside, including your inner ear mechanism.

Therefore, the inner voice and around-the-corner outer voice are further distorted because your head is vibrating.


Help! How Can I Hear My Real Voice?
So that explains the process of why you hear your own voice differently from your listeners. When you are trying to develop the best voice quality you can, I encourage you to observe and play with all three factors outlined above. You can experiment with listening to your inner voice. You can take under consideration the additional vibrations in your head. But most importantly, you want to tune your outer voice to an audience-friendly sound.

You can hear more of what everyone else hears by amplifying your real voice with one of the following methods.

• Record a short speech or piece of prose on an electronic device and play it back. The higher quality the microphone, the more accurate your recording will be.
• Extend your sound catchers – your ears! Cup a hand around each ear and draw your elbows together. As you speak, channel the sound up your arms and into your ears.
• Purchase two PVC elbows that fit together like a phone. Speak into one end while the other end is positioned around your ear. (Caution: The smooth, hard plastic conducts sounds so well, you can damage your ear drum by speaking or singing too loudly.)

With each of these methods, your initial goal is hearing the voice your listeners hear. Do you like it? First, get past the fact that it sounds different from what you normally hear. Then, ask yourself if this is how you wish to sound to other people. If you don’t like what you hear, you do have the power to change it with awareness, practice and time.


Get Used to Your Voice – or Change It
Should you decide you wish to modify your voice, the next step is playing with your sound. Re-record or use your sound catchers or PVC “phone” to help you listen to the changes until you have something you like. Then practice this new way of speaking until it becomes second nature. Another helpful option is hiring a trusted vocal coach who can give you professional feedback on your real voice.

Seldom should a voice be changed drastically. Often the speaker just needs time to get used to the idea that the listener hears something different. Remember, different can be Okay.

Is it important to know what your listeners hear? Think about your old high school teacher with the nasally voice or your hair stylist who sounds so breathy. These people probably give no thought to their sound. However, the speaker’s voice makes an impression on the listener.

Ask yourself these questions. Is what I have to tell people important enough to present it in the most appealing manner? Does my voice complement or distract from my message? How much am I willing to work on my voice to make it work for me?

Some day you might be a Toastmasters speech finalist whose recording gets passed around clubs all over the world. I say, “Go for it!” Maximize the impact of your unique voice.